Feminine Wiles & Valentine's Day

The big "love" day of the year when all the restaurants are booked, the price of fresh cut flowers skyrockets and the amount of chocolate to be found is purely diabetic!

Valentine's Day.  As a kid, I gave out cards to all my classmates being very careful as to what message I wanted the boy of my elementary school affections to receive on the card.  Often, I'd slip in a secret admirer card in there too for good measure.  It's nice to know you have a secret admirer, even if you didn't know who they were! (Less stalkerish when you are 5.)

As I got older, I still sent cards and received cards (some from boys I wasn't too thrilled about, but still appreciated).  I attended school dances, wore red and tried my hand at flirting with the notion that Valentine's day was the most romantic day in the world.  I embraced and gave love in words and deeds to all friends (and that cute boyish grade 11 guy from Portugal who didn't speak English very well, but could kiss like a man). *swoon*

Out in the workplace I also had secret admirer crushes (don't we all?) and even though nothing serious came from any of it, I was happy that they were let in on the notion that someone found them completely adorable. 

I've had my share of unromantic boyfriends.  Most of them were, sadly. Meh. It happens.  I've always been the hardcore romantic and I suppose I've even adapted to dating men who aren't.  Unfortunately.
I promise I will date the next romantic man I find and leave the rest behind.

But just because I am without a lover for this holiday does not mean I have soured.  No.  In fact, I plan on celebrating my own way (or rather my employer's way) and I will be working, wearing red lipstick and making every effort to really love myself this year, not just the one day.  That's the best gift I can give myself.  Hey, I've been doing a great job so far.

Speaking of love and the all encompassing confusion surrounding it, Girls was unbelieveable this week.  Completely raw and beautiful.   I hope you are watching it.  HBO on Sunday nights at 9pm. (Eeeeeek...and Patrick Wilson!!)




Are you Valentine-less this Valentine's day?  How are you celebrating?  Are you celebrating?

Beautiful Girls

One of the best monologues ever about men and women... and attractiveness.
Movie:: Beautiful Girls

Kryptonite

I hadn't thought about him for a while (I guess truth is that he is always on my mind somewhere in the dark recesses), but last night after a chat with a friend, thoughts of him came flooding back to me.

It's a happy-sad sort of situation.  I'm happy when I hear from him. I'm happy he's good and healthy and I'm always hoping he's happy or knows he can change it if he isn't.  I'm sad that that's the only way I can think about him anymore and that we don't actually talk.  I'm sad that I don't know why we don't talk, but I'm sadder to also know the deeper reasons behind why we don't.  I'm sad that things weren't different in the chilly time we spent that winter.  I miss J.  I miss his friendship a lot.  It's been hard without him.

While I definitely know that I had nothing to do with the tough decisions that I had to make on our behalf and he had his own set of criteria that brought about decisions he made.  A relationship is made up of two people, each with individual needs, desires and faceted personalities.  Each person determining their course of action within the relationship.  He made decisions I didn't agree with, maybe I was a different person, maybe he had to make decisions because I couldn't...and maybe I did, because he couldn't.

Then I thought about it.  He's my Kryptonite. He always has been.  I just wish I could hear his voice now and again.

Is There Ever a New Day on an Old Relationship?

A recent conversation with a coworker who was re-entering a relationship with his past has spawned this conversation.

I've always had the belief that once a relationship sours, it's practically impossible to reignite the flames to a point where the relationship is 100% salvageable.

My coworker is optimistically positive that it can work. He was the person in the past who had been freed by his girlfriend and she is his first love and he is in his mid-late 20's.

Age and experience definitely plays a factor in what I believe to be a big mistake when considering a return to a previous relationship. I think the role you played and who/how it ended matters too.

But overall, I think it's just a big mistake. Unless a significant amount of time has passed and you've worked on correcting the contributing factor you brought to the breakup, it's simply doomed to be repeated.. But on a much faster downhill slope.

And boy, since he got back with his ex, he's been cranky! How do you feel about reuniting with an old flame?

Coming Up to A Break

I've been working 6 days a week since August and I'm wiped.
I am coming up to a hiatus on the work front for a month or so. I'll admit it, I'm very much looking forward to the break.

I plan on doing so much during that time (so much, that I hope I actually get it done)!
Here's my list...

• Make my own wrapping paper (completed! post coming soon)
• Complete all my holiday cards (I only mail them out to people I definitely won't be seeing)
• Finish purchasing gifts for my family (I have a few bought already)
• Finish making the gifts I'm making
• Blog about said gifts after the fact
• Take the collection of things I've been piling up to Goodwill (They've been sitting in my room for eons now)
• Manage paperwork for my business
• Buy(ugh) and put on snowtires
• Watch the movies I've bought but not yet seen (Magic Mike, Dark Shadows)
• Clean out my hardrive & reorganise my photos
• Update my iPod
• Book a couple more shoots for the winter (family, engagement, wedding,etc)
• Bake Christmas goodies (Confetti Squares, Chocolate Mint bars)
• Get all three blogs updated *gah*
• Get some more prints up for sale in my Etsy shop
• Jump start my winter fitness routine
• Work on my budgeting
• Blogging regularly.  I'm not even sure anyone reads this anymore...but I hope so!
• Put together some shoot ideas I've got kicking around

I hope there is lots of time...I'm gonna need it.

Nothing Beats...

an Ontario autumn...

And the Fog Rolled In...

"“I returned to the courtyard and saw that the sun had grown weaker. Beautiful and clear as it had been, the morning (as the day approached the completion of its first half) was becoming damp and misty. Heavy clouds moved from the north and were invading the top of the mountain, covering it with a light brume. It seemed to be fog, and perhaps fog was also rising from the ground, but at that altitude it was difficult to distinguish the mists that rose from below and those that come down from above. It was becoming hard to discern the bulk of the more distant buildings.”   ~Umberto Eco