Wednesday, March 21, 2012

New Gig and Goodbye Boy...

Lomo Film::  Burger Bar :: Toronto

I started a new job on Monday.  Same company, different department.  I'm not excited about it to be honest & yet with the copious amounts of resumes I've sent out in this past couple of weeks has been painful, I keep hearing nothing.  But yet, I keep sending and hoping.
Now don't get me wrong, I am VERY thankful for the job I do have. (Especially in this economy as I know it's been very hard on everyone.)

I am scared of the job. I think that's part of the problem.  It's WAY out of my comfort zone.  But that's supposed to be a good thing in this big scary world. No?

In other news, BCBound is well....BC Bound.  Finally.  Sadly.  The entire ordeal makes me unsure of how to feel.  I'm obviously very happy for him.  He needed a big change and something to keep him financially secure.  This move will accomplish both for him.  As for me, I hope we stay in touch and manage to get back to a place that's not as busy, strained or fraught with uncertainty as to whether we can function as good friends...even if it is via text message and   We had been in a really great space for a while, flirty, fun and connecting...but something happened.  I can't even really pinpoint where we fell apart or what did it...or even if it did!  But the progression of a relationship/friendship definitely slowed down.  I have some thoughts, but nothing that makes much sense.

I'm conflicted because I really liked him...and things seemed very positive.  I've chased my fair share of men...and I know the best approach is to just let him go emotionally.  I'm trying, but it's hard.

But fear not!  Enter 'CuteDad' on the scene.  Now, CuteDad  has been around for a while.  He's divorced and has kids (well, duh).  I really like CuteDad.  He's fun and sweet and always very lovely.  We have always hinted around hanging out, but never made actual plans.  We are bordering on that now and it's kind of exciting. 

Even if nothing continues with CuteDad, it's nice to have male company sometimes.  I need that.  I had so hoped that BCBound would be that for me, but I think it maybe became too scary/serious for him.

I don't know.
I can't guess anymore...but the one thing is, I will definitely miss him.

Sunday, March 04, 2012

How Not to Cancel Plans

I had plans the other night which were cancelled.
These things happen. I am totally fine with that.  Life happens, things come up and plans change. I adjust. 
What I do take issue with is the way that cancellations can sometimes go.
(This applies to friends and dates, not necessarily parties when the host is usually busy with a billion other things, unless of course you are the date of the host or whatnot!)

1.  If I have to call you to verify we have plans::  I immediately have a bad feeling in my stomach if I need to call you/text you to verify the plans for our meeting.  I like knowing where and when to meet you in advance of the day of said plans. If you verify we do have plans for that day (on that day), don't cancel them an hour later. Simply cancel then and there, with a heartfelt apology.  I have likely spent time and money in advance to see you and turned down other social functions.

2.  If you fail to apologize::  If you fail to utter an "I'm sorry" to me for cancelling plans, I have a hard time judging if you actually are sorry.  It's hurtful.  It means that whatever you are going through trumps the fact that we made plans and now I get to spend quality time with my cat (who will certainly not appreciate my new hairdo, shaved legs or Givenchy lipstick).  Just tell me how sorry you are. Simple.

3.  If you do not contact me on the phone - but text me instead::  Texting is not a suitable form of communicating for cancelling plans.  You should call to cancel.  That allows me to hear
a) how sick you are
b) how sorry you are (there's that apology)
c) the ability to reschedule in person rather than email or via text

The phone is a far more personal approach that simply typing up a quick "hey, can't make it tonight". A cancellation over the phone is more sincere and giving us both an opportunity to hear tone, vocal inflections and hopefully sincerity.

When did we lose our ability to connect with people in a civilized manner?

One of the best dates I ever had happened after a cancellation.  While he was unable to make our original date, he called to apologise, rescheduled another time (therefore definitely letting me know he wanted to see me) and when we met up, he apologised again for cancelling and definitely made up for it. I was even informed by a friend of his we ran into (while he was using the restroom) that he had felt really bad for not making our last date. Bonus points by telling your friend you felt bad.

My recent cancellation would have been fine too...had he followed the above basic social niceties.  In  all fairness he was sick and he did try to reschedule (although I knew he was going to be busy and rushing to fit me in - so I suggested another time, but he was busy).

We have yet to reschedule. I have been trying to determine if I am into him because I 'think' I am...but this recent cancellation has me on the edge.