Thursday, January 24, 2013


I hadn't thought about him for a while (I guess truth is that he is always on my mind somewhere in the dark recesses), but last night after a chat with a friend, thoughts of him came flooding back to me.

It's a happy-sad sort of situation.  I'm happy when I hear from him. I'm happy he's good and healthy and I'm always hoping he's happy or knows he can change it if he isn't.  I'm sad that that's the only way I can think about him anymore and that we don't actually talk.  I'm sad that I don't know why we don't talk, but I'm sadder to also know the deeper reasons behind why we don't.  I'm sad that things weren't different in the chilly time we spent that winter.  I miss J.  I miss his friendship a lot.  It's been hard without him.

While I definitely know that I had nothing to do with the tough decisions that I had to make on our behalf and he had his own set of criteria that brought about decisions he made.  A relationship is made up of two people, each with individual needs, desires and faceted personalities.  Each person determining their course of action within the relationship.  He made decisions I didn't agree with, maybe I was a different person, maybe he had to make decisions because I couldn't...and maybe I did, because he couldn't.

Then I thought about it.  He's my Kryptonite. He always has been.  I just wish I could hear his voice now and again.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Is There Ever a New Day on an Old Relationship?

A recent conversation with a coworker who was re-entering a relationship with his past has spawned this conversation.

I've always had the belief that once a relationship sours, it's practically impossible to reignite the flames to a point where the relationship is 100% salvageable.

My coworker is optimistically positive that it can work. He was the person in the past who had been freed by his girlfriend and she is his first love and he is in his mid-late 20's.

Age and experience definitely plays a factor in what I believe to be a big mistake when considering a return to a previous relationship. I think the role you played and who/how it ended matters too.

But overall, I think it's just a big mistake. Unless a significant amount of time has passed and you've worked on correcting the contributing factor you brought to the breakup, it's simply doomed to be repeated.. But on a much faster downhill slope.

And boy, since he got back with his ex, he's been cranky! How do you feel about reuniting with an old flame?